Three Months and Fifteen Days

It has now been three and a half months since I went to the Def Jam/ Island Records music showcase. I still have not heard back from anyone even though they said they would contact me. ....I don't know what to think. I just don't. I believe I'm really good, and I would only be better with the help of professionals. And, I know my sound is different, but I'm sure it has high market ability in Europe.

There have been times when I have felt like giving up, but I can't give up now. Not when I am this close. It has been hard though, to keep hanging on; and going through the same hard routine day in and day out, hoping against hope that it is just a matter of time. In trying to stay focused and positive I have been envisioning what I want.

This is what I see:

I quit my job as a janitor.
I am recording my first album with Island Records.
I am doing studio and production work for Def Jam.
I have the same producer that My Bloody Valentine had (and that Nine Inch Nails had on "The Fragile").
I am touring all over the world but primarily Europe promoting my new album.
I have multiple hit songs on the radio and music videos on MTV Europe and elsewhere.
I went to the dentist and didn't get turned away because I didn't have enough money.
I bought a car so I wouldn't have to borrow one anymore.
I hired a caregiver to help my disabled mom while I am gone on tour, and recording, and being busy with my career.
I am not a one hit wonder.
I have a life long career doing what I love.
I continue to use what I have been blessed with to bless others, but in even greater ways than before.

Those thoughts (and more personal ones) are what keep me going on. I know it will happen! It has to happen!

Here is a new song and video I finished today:

Two Months Today, and A Song By Me

It has been two months today since I went to the Def Jam conference. I thought I was supposed to get a call from someone, Anthony, Lenny, Def Jam, Island, someone, anyone, within a couple of weeks. I have tried calling several times, but the mail box is always full. Haven't received any emails from them either. I thought I was showing a lot of patience by waiting this long .....I know, it's not that long in the music business. I may have to wait several more months. I guess I'm just frustrated because I re-injured my back at work this week. I don't have a bad back, it just gets strained from time to time because of the work I do. My job is not worth the pain I am in right now! If I was in pain doing the job I was created for, it would be like nothing at all!! Music is fun to me. No aspect of it feels like work. It is just pure joy. And that's all I want to do with my life. Well, anyway, I'm going to make up some lyrics right now:


Too many more days to go
And I'm running out of show
And there's nowhere else to go
But I'm feeling kind of uneasy

The cupboards came today
Let's all go out and play

All of these things have passed
And our future is in our past
And we gave in way to fast
But I'm feeling kind of lazy
All the battles are in the fist
And I'm keeping track with this list
And today was what I wished
But tomorrow is kind of hazy

The cupboards came today
Let's all go out and play


I think I will call this song  Go Out and Play.

Back To Work

I didn't have to work yesterday because it was called off due to snow. It's good to get an extra day off to do something I really want to do, like write music. I got a really great new melody going! It has some jazz chords in it too, so it's a lot of fun to play!!

It's back to work today....(sigh).... I really wish I knew what was going on with my album in the hands of Island Records. It would be nice to have some solid knowledge that I won't be working at my crap job for the rest of my life. ...Is it sad that I can feel my heart breaking every time the weekend is over?

Matthew Dean Shaffer #3

The following statement is true: There is a cow in the art room where I work.