The Tin-Man is going to kill you (and how)! of Denver, CO writes:
My question:
Why are the people in tampon commercials and the herpes valtrex commercials so happy? I could not imagine smiling if I got infected with an incurable std. I know I am NEVER happy when PMS hits.
Dear The Tin-Man is going to kill you (and how)!,
Never once do any of these commercials actually come out and say that the actors have stds. Most people including yourself assume that the actors do. The reason they are smiling is that the company is also aware of this assumption and makes up for it by giving hefty paychecks to the actors. Later, they are put into witness protection programs and get moved to Norway where they start really cool garage bands.
Thursday, February 9, 2006
Ask Dr. Mr. Rooster #7
...lellies and remains... of Denver, CO yet again writes:
Alright, this is my question: What is the point of baggy bondage pants?
Dear ...lellies and remains...,
Somehow I knew you would ask me something like this. Baggy bondage is an oxymoron. Bondage pants are supposed to be restrictive to movement. Baggy pants are to allow you to move freely. In this case we have what I call retro fitting. Every new invention roughly resembles the thing it replaced. Going backwards in the BBC Connections like fashion....
Baggy bondage pants are the result of goths who listened to steady rythmic dance beats long enough to realize that all other electronic music has steady rythmic dance beats. In this case they became confused by raver music. Ravers like flashy glittery and of course baggy clothing. Goths not wanting to completely abandon their tight fitting, black wearing, punk roots opt for baggy black clothing. This just explains why the pants are black and baggy. But what about the bondage straps you may ask. This goes back to the nineties grunge years (also known as the baggy pants wearing skateboarders years). The skaters wore baggy pants to allow ease of movement while skating. The media became confused by this practical use of clothing and called it the new grunge fashion. Metalheads were hit the hardest by this. They, wanting to keep their edge started wearing the baggy pants but continued to wear all black. The media after realizing it's terrible mistake tried to fix this by omitting all mention of the word grunge and lobbying to have the laws changed so that companies like Clear Channel could buy out all the smaller companies and change their format to salsa and soft jazz. But they were already too late. The doors were opened for other older styles of music to hit the big time. Namely, punk. Punk, ever traditional and slowly getting worse, was effecting fashion once again. Metalheads, trying to retain their edge after the grunge (or should I say the alternative to alternative) incident, saw the punk look as a way to regain some of that edge. So, bondage straps were added to the baggy pants. But they were not too baggy yet. Going back to the raver thing, baggy pants just kept getting bigger and bigger. No explanation except that ravers really like flashy stuff. All of this should have disappeared rather quickly had it not been for the complete removal of all memory from the youth of the grunge movement. They had no memory of it so they couldn't go back and start over. This problem was perpetuated by the media's newly packaged new metal (another solution to the media's terrible mistake). New metal needed a style so they used the already described pants. That's the point of baggy bondage pants. I guess it really is an oxymoron. I'm going to bed. Wake me when we hit the next decade. Maybe things will be better.
Sincerely,
Dr. Mr. Rooster
Alright, this is my question: What is the point of baggy bondage pants?
Dear ...lellies and remains...,
Somehow I knew you would ask me something like this. Baggy bondage is an oxymoron. Bondage pants are supposed to be restrictive to movement. Baggy pants are to allow you to move freely. In this case we have what I call retro fitting. Every new invention roughly resembles the thing it replaced. Going backwards in the BBC Connections like fashion....
Baggy bondage pants are the result of goths who listened to steady rythmic dance beats long enough to realize that all other electronic music has steady rythmic dance beats. In this case they became confused by raver music. Ravers like flashy glittery and of course baggy clothing. Goths not wanting to completely abandon their tight fitting, black wearing, punk roots opt for baggy black clothing. This just explains why the pants are black and baggy. But what about the bondage straps you may ask. This goes back to the nineties grunge years (also known as the baggy pants wearing skateboarders years). The skaters wore baggy pants to allow ease of movement while skating. The media became confused by this practical use of clothing and called it the new grunge fashion. Metalheads were hit the hardest by this. They, wanting to keep their edge started wearing the baggy pants but continued to wear all black. The media after realizing it's terrible mistake tried to fix this by omitting all mention of the word grunge and lobbying to have the laws changed so that companies like Clear Channel could buy out all the smaller companies and change their format to salsa and soft jazz. But they were already too late. The doors were opened for other older styles of music to hit the big time. Namely, punk. Punk, ever traditional and slowly getting worse, was effecting fashion once again. Metalheads, trying to retain their edge after the grunge (or should I say the alternative to alternative) incident, saw the punk look as a way to regain some of that edge. So, bondage straps were added to the baggy pants. But they were not too baggy yet. Going back to the raver thing, baggy pants just kept getting bigger and bigger. No explanation except that ravers really like flashy stuff. All of this should have disappeared rather quickly had it not been for the complete removal of all memory from the youth of the grunge movement. They had no memory of it so they couldn't go back and start over. This problem was perpetuated by the media's newly packaged new metal (another solution to the media's terrible mistake). New metal needed a style so they used the already described pants. That's the point of baggy bondage pants. I guess it really is an oxymoron. I'm going to bed. Wake me when we hit the next decade. Maybe things will be better.
Sincerely,
Dr. Mr. Rooster
Ask Dr. Mr. Rooster #6
...lellies and remains... of Denver....still, Colorado writes:
I just wish I knew what to ask?
Well, lellies and remains, this is not a proper question. It's more of a sentence, but beggars can't be choosers, so the answer is ANYTHING! I don't care. It could be how many licks does it take to get to the center of Dick Cheney's brain? Whatever is fine.
Signed but not really,
Dr. Mr. Rooster
I just wish I knew what to ask?
Well, lellies and remains, this is not a proper question. It's more of a sentence, but beggars can't be choosers, so the answer is ANYTHING! I don't care. It could be how many licks does it take to get to the center of Dick Cheney's brain? Whatever is fine.
Signed but not really,
Dr. Mr. Rooster
Ask Dr. Mr. Rooster #5
Current mood:aggravated
So the Ask Dr. Mr. Rooster thing is a complete flop. Apparently, everyone's too busy posting stupid questionaires to ask me any questions. So if you ask me (which you haven't) don't ask anymore stupid questions unless you want me to answer those questionaires.
-The Doc
So the Ask Dr. Mr. Rooster thing is a complete flop. Apparently, everyone's too busy posting stupid questionaires to ask me any questions. So if you ask me (which you haven't) don't ask anymore stupid questions unless you want me to answer those questionaires.
-The Doc
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