Mick of Colorado Springs, CO writes:
Dear Dr. Mr. Rooster,
I was rummaging about the interweb a few days ago and I came upon the most interesting band, Buzzhead Republic. The band was great and a lot of fun. I have on many occassions attempted to see them live however, every single time I go to a gig I see REALLY bright lights and then wake up roughly and hour later, very tired with no memorie. As you can of course imagine, this had become a very serious source of frustration for me, especially when I awake in cities Ive never been to before.
So the question I suppose to you is: What exactly is my affliction and why oh why can I not find my pillows?
Mick
Dear Mick,
This infliction you speak of is not uncommon. You see, a band such as Buzzhead Republic is so universally bodacious that beings from around the universe come to see them perform. They have one of the most amazing light shows in this part of the galaxy, but it is not their lights that you see, and I will explain: Often, when seating is limited, aliens have been known to abduct people who are in line in front of them, hence the bright lights and memory loss. The reason why you sometimes end up in other cities is that the same aliens also like to travel with the band on their tours. As for your missing pillows, a professional hypnotist may help you with what REALLY happened to you and your pillows during that hour on the space ship. As a side note: other signs of abduction are bad spelling and bad grammar on blog postings. In the meantime, until you are able to see one of these bodacious Buzzhead Republic shows, watch out for anal probes. They are most unpleasant and hard to remove.
Good luck,
Dr. Mr Rooster
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