Two hours till I have to leave for work. I'm not ready for having to do that crap job again. I haven't been ready all week, but somehow I keep getting through it. I'm tired. Tired of getting paid a third of what my work experience says I should get paid. Tired of working my butt off while everyone else goes on vacation, and when they come back, only getting a complaint about not doing something that I did do. Work is work. I know that. There's no expectation of a thank you for doing what I am paid to do; but I do the work of three people more efficiently than some coworkers do the work of just one. If that makes any sense. Occasionally, I get a note left by someone that recognizes that I have to do more work because of the unusually large mess they made that day. Such notes are few and far between, and they help, even if just a little. But I'm tired.
Being tired has sometimes been the only thing that has driven me to keep writing music. It's my ticket out, and it's all I know to do. One day I will be famous. The wait is just hard. Some might say I'm delusional, especially if they have heard my older material. But I got invited to a showcase by a top A&R president or vice-president. I can't remember but he's top; and a major label was there too. I won't mention names or labels because I don't want to somehow ruin everything by writing this. It was my impression that they really liked what I was doing. One of them kept saying I'd be on MTV Europe next year (now this year). Maybe I miss heard this; it is possible, I was in shock at this point, shock that the big guys liked what I was doing. One of them said don't worry. I'm trying not to. It's just been almost a month since this happened and I still haven't heard from anyone. Many of my friends say that these are big names and because of this they are in no big hurry to contact me. I'm trying to be patient. It's just hard when I've spent 16 years working to get to this point, and now I'm in some sort of limbo.
I don't want this to sound negative and maybe it's too late. I really am feeling positive and hopeful. I know everything will work out. The way I see it, delayed blessings and or dreams can be a test. A test of patience, trust, faith, maybe just so others can see that you won't give up and quit. I will never quit! One day I will be famous! (for all the right reasons of course) I hope I don't have much longer to wait.
Oh. Just a last little thing. Here's a photo of one of the few notes I have received. I think it's funny that the thank you is plural, when there has been only one person (me) doing all the work in this area (location kept vague on purpose) for over a year.
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